I am this kind of person. I started almost everthing. I have no time for myself. I am learning all the time. While writing this post i am learning. What i am learning? English and writing skills. My life is based on the quote “The Only Person You Should Try To Be Better Than Is The Person You Were Yesterday”.
All started in the year 2009. I picked up my guitar. Later i started to draw. I learned a little programming. Switched back to graphic. All my life i played Video Games. Recently i don’t play so much. I started to learn to create games. I am at the beginning of my Journey. There is a lot stuff to learn.
Now i am thinking about learning 3D modelling.
I know it’s the bad way to choose in life. But i am having so much fun!
And guess what. All is not Nothing. It’s always something.
And it’s not about all the homework. I hate it. Really. It’s not about all the time i need to get back and forth. I takes a lot of hours. And the waiting for the train and so on…
It’s more about the THING. You can sit in your class or lecture hall and learn or… you can let your imagination work. I think mostly about what i am going to do at home. I learn to… but most of the time these lectures are boring.
I create new Worlds in my brain. It started little. I thought about little elephants running there and there. Later funny things started to happend. I just sat there and made the world around me live their own lives.
Now i don’t do it anymore. I don’t have to. I can make it in my imagination. Why only use the world around us?
Well… you can’t listen to music. Because the teacher will see it. You can use your notebook, but i try not to use my computer so much lately. The desktop screen makes me kinda tired.
Before i draw a little and made a little poems in my notebook! But… i prefer do it at home 🙂
I found my motivation in bloging. It’s something you should do everyday. I mean… constantly. It makes you better formulate your words. I can learn english that way. It isnt my native language. It is the way of communitcating with the whole world.
You can blog about anything! Imagine you could tell so little to the rest of the world! Yeah. It’s kinda hard if you speak only one language… But what if you can speak three diffrent languages? It creates new possiblities!
I didin’t know a month ago that i can connect with so many people with so little words.
I said to myself i am going to write in english everyday…
But in the past 2 days i didn’t had any idea what should i write. But hey! You can write about anything!
Now i am sitting and thinking about it. I could write at Friday about comics and yesterday about Sony Conference.
Sony users can have now 3 games for free. All the people who have Ps Vita, Ps3 or Ps4. One game for each of these platforms. I am not sure which games but i think it was NFS Most Wanted for Vita, Mirrors Edge for Ps3 and Plants vs zombies for Ps4.
Pretty cool! But my PS Vita memory card has only 4 Gb… I need to buy a new sd card. These are pretty expensive. But buying a cheaper one makes no sense!
Oh! And there was this pretty XX Anniversary of Playstation One! Games were cheaper 🙂
I bought Final Fantasy and Crash Bandicoot. I am going to have great december 🙂
Last week at the University and i am going back to my homeland 😀
Sometimes i am thinking. What i am doing with my life?
I pick up a lot of Hobbys. But never master them. I try to master them in a short time. But it never works.
If you want to be good at something you have to do it everyday for a very long time. Later you can show off you work.
It worked with guitar. But i don’t play anymore. I feel like i just hit the wall. Big wall of bricks. I can dig a little hole step by step. Dig with my notes and composing music. But it would take so much time! And i felt kinda bored.
I wanted to discover new paths. New paths in my life which would open my mind a little. I was closed just for music for so much time! I started to forget that there are other possibilities. I started to draw. Started programming, checked 3d moddeling.
I am thinking about changing my Path!
And internet is my guide.
I thinked about making it more “acceptable” and decided to overpaint the sketches :
I wasn’t sure if blogging in English language is the good way. I wasn’t really minded for the way of writing. The thing is if i start writing in english i can resonate with more people. I can learn the language. I can try to be better everyday. It’s hard. I know. But why not take a shot?
I wasnt really active in internet community. I was more of a lurking person. Why not change it?
I had the courage to write in my native language… but writing in a different one? Foreign?
In the past year a lot of changes happened.
I am a different person. I learned new skills. These need still to be mastered. But the thing is… i forgot to follow my dreams. I tried to follow dreams of my parents. And i wasn’t really happy with it. It was good… but it wasn’t the way i wanted.
I don’t like to fight. You got a problem? Let’s face it and find a solution. Mostly i have conflict with my parents. Who doesn’t have them? Sometimes the fight is about stupid things. Why did you took money from my pocket? Why didn’t you asked me? Is there a problem with it? And let’s be honest. I wasn’t the one who took the money.
There have been many diffrent situations. Mostly in my teenager life. Why do you come so late? Why didint you make your bed? Well, i was a good kid. But even in the best families there are conflicts.
We are having fight with our friends too. Why? Because we care. That’s the main problem.
I am totally a night owl. I love sleeping. But i do it mostly on daylight. My neighbours sometimes ask me: “I saw a light in your window at 5 in the morning. Did you forget to turn it off?”. Mostly i say “yes”. But it’s a lie. I love night. Because of the atmosphere. Lighting bulb in the corner and me inside books, drawing, writing, lurking the internet.
When i was 12 years old i had a problem. It was 3 am, pretty hot outside and i couln’t sleep. I was twisting in my bed since midnight. It was like a nightmare. But i wasn’t really sleeping. Somehow at 5 am they started to put cartoons again and i falled asleep.
I had those problems all the time. It was mostly when i had vacation, no school, no job. I wasnt exhausted. When your body has power, you can’t sleep. I could do everything. Paint my room at 4 am, change the furniture position, clean my house.
I sleep a lot. 8 hours is minimum. Sometimes i hit 10. But when the school starts… 5 hours. Because i need to get up early and get to the train.
Night is boring. Really. Everybody sleeps. You feel like you are the only one living in the world. If you go outside you see nobody.
Funny thing: The lighting from my room is the only light on the streets. I think my nighbours got used to it. But there are cons too. I got tommorow a dentist visit at 9 am. I don’t know how i get up so early. I guess it’s gonna be a nightmare.
Those aren’t the exactly word lyrics, but it is so. In the end we are just dust in the wind, and we are only remembered by our friends throught situations in our lives.
But Hey! We are alive! Let’s do things! I am Young. Forever Young. This Way sang Marian Gold from Alphaville.
I feel young! But i don’t have much time… Because the time is running fast. What are my goals?
I know. We don’t like to share with our thoughts. The deepest dreams are closed in our hearts. We don’t like to share with them. I have one big dream, and plenty of others with which i one to share with you!
I want to be an artist. I can’t force myself to draw more. Just can’t. I feel like i have no progression in it. I try to draw everyday, but i get bored pretty fast.
I want to make movies. And i keep doing them! At the moment i am using my phone… it’s not much but it’s a good start.
I want to make computer games! I can’t really programm. I don’t know any programming language. Well except little C++, Java, C#. (Hey! Book! Programming for dummies! I am looking on you!).
I want to write poems!
I want to write books!
I want to help people!
I want to be a journalist!
So much to do, so little time! Let’s start now! Because everyday we are better people.