And it’s not about all the homework. I hate it. Really. It’s not about all the time i need to get back and forth. I takes a lot of hours. And the waiting for the train and so on…
It’s more about the THING. You can sit in your class or lecture hall and learn or… you can let your imagination work. I think mostly about what i am going to do at home. I learn to… but most of the time these lectures are boring.
I create new Worlds in my brain. It started little. I thought about little elephants running there and there. Later funny things started to happend. I just sat there and made the world around me live their own lives.
Now i don’t do it anymore. I don’t have to. I can make it in my imagination. Why only use the world around us?
Well… you can’t listen to music. Because the teacher will see it. You can use your notebook, but i try not to use my computer so much lately. The desktop screen makes me kinda tired.
Before i draw a little and made a little poems in my notebook! But… i prefer do it at home 🙂
I found my motivation in bloging. It’s something you should do everyday. I mean… constantly. It makes you better formulate your words. I can learn english that way. It isnt my native language. It is the way of communitcating with the whole world.
You can blog about anything! Imagine you could tell so little to the rest of the world! Yeah. It’s kinda hard if you speak only one language… But what if you can speak three diffrent languages? It creates new possiblities!
I didin’t know a month ago that i can connect with so many people with so little words.
I said to myself i am going to write in english everyday…
But in the past 2 days i didn’t had any idea what should i write. But hey! You can write about anything!
Now i am sitting and thinking about it. I could write at Friday about comics and yesterday about Sony Conference.
Sony users can have now 3 games for free. All the people who have Ps Vita, Ps3 or Ps4. One game for each of these platforms. I am not sure which games but i think it was NFS Most Wanted for Vita, Mirrors Edge for Ps3 and Plants vs zombies for Ps4.
Pretty cool! But my PS Vita memory card has only 4 Gb… I need to buy a new sd card. These are pretty expensive. But buying a cheaper one makes no sense!
Oh! And there was this pretty XX Anniversary of Playstation One! Games were cheaper 🙂
I bought Final Fantasy and Crash Bandicoot. I am going to have great december 🙂
Last week at the University and i am going back to my homeland 😀
Sometimes i am thinking. What i am doing with my life?
I pick up a lot of Hobbys. But never master them. I try to master them in a short time. But it never works.
If you want to be good at something you have to do it everyday for a very long time. Later you can show off you work.
It worked with guitar. But i don’t play anymore. I feel like i just hit the wall. Big wall of bricks. I can dig a little hole step by step. Dig with my notes and composing music. But it would take so much time! And i felt kinda bored.
I wanted to discover new paths. New paths in my life which would open my mind a little. I was closed just for music for so much time! I started to forget that there are other possibilities. I started to draw. Started programming, checked 3d moddeling.
I am thinking about changing my Path!
And internet is my guide.
I thinked about making it more “acceptable” and decided to overpaint the sketches :
I wasn’t sure if blogging in English language is the good way. I wasn’t really minded for the way of writing. The thing is if i start writing in english i can resonate with more people. I can learn the language. I can try to be better everyday. It’s hard. I know. But why not take a shot?
I wasnt really active in internet community. I was more of a lurking person. Why not change it?
I had the courage to write in my native language… but writing in a different one? Foreign?
In the past year a lot of changes happened.
I am a different person. I learned new skills. These need still to be mastered. But the thing is… i forgot to follow my dreams. I tried to follow dreams of my parents. And i wasn’t really happy with it. It was good… but it wasn’t the way i wanted.
I am totally a night owl. I love sleeping. But i do it mostly on daylight. My neighbours sometimes ask me: “I saw a light in your window at 5 in the morning. Did you forget to turn it off?”. Mostly i say “yes”. But it’s a lie. I love night. Because of the atmosphere. Lighting bulb in the corner and me inside books, drawing, writing, lurking the internet.
When i was 12 years old i had a problem. It was 3 am, pretty hot outside and i couln’t sleep. I was twisting in my bed since midnight. It was like a nightmare. But i wasn’t really sleeping. Somehow at 5 am they started to put cartoons again and i falled asleep.
I had those problems all the time. It was mostly when i had vacation, no school, no job. I wasnt exhausted. When your body has power, you can’t sleep. I could do everything. Paint my room at 4 am, change the furniture position, clean my house.
I sleep a lot. 8 hours is minimum. Sometimes i hit 10. But when the school starts… 5 hours. Because i need to get up early and get to the train.
Night is boring. Really. Everybody sleeps. You feel like you are the only one living in the world. If you go outside you see nobody.
Funny thing: The lighting from my room is the only light on the streets. I think my nighbours got used to it. But there are cons too. I got tommorow a dentist visit at 9 am. I don’t know how i get up so early. I guess it’s gonna be a nightmare.
I like perfection. But it’s kinda hard to write in diffrent language. You are not sure if you make mistakes or not. I try to read a lot of articles in English. I like this language because of the globality. Everyone know it. Well… almost. But it’s pretty popular. Isn’t it?
It opens a lot of more doors. You can write to much more people. Nobody is perfect, but i try to be Perfect Everyday.
How many people can see my post? How can i reach to all the people? Do i need to be shiny? Like a star? Why i want to reach with my words to them?
Well. History shows that everyone wanted to have their 5 minutes. Wanted to be the one who got their words on the first page. Now we have the possiblity. We can write and share with everyone our feelings, our mood and what else. We are the new generation of people, who are all the time conected into a global village. We are bound with invisible rope, and we can’t escape.
So i start again. I want to write better everyday. And i hope that one day… i will be happy with it. Now i am just learning.
I´m a very social person. I love to meet new people. Thats why i learned two extra languages. To met new people. Well maybe i am going to learn Chinese (Mandarin). But that´s kinda hard for an European Guy like me 🙂
I am very social but… Lonely. The number of Friends on Facebook doesn´t matter. You can have 1000 friends. In fact you can have bound with maximal 148 people. That´s called a Dunbar´s number. Well i got over 180 friends but i speak maybe with 20? I could delete them… but i can´t… I´m not a bad person. It´s not like if you delete a “friend” you´re a bad Person. I mean that the other could be little sad about it. Don´t you think?
So i try to met new people. You should too. It´s hard. I know. But be more open. Be more sociable.
Some people ask me. How i manage to have good contact with so many people.The answer is easy.
I write to them.
To people to which i want to speak. It´s nothing to be ashamed of. One of my friends asked me, why nobody writes to her despite she have so many friends on facebook. She just add everyone and is little scared to write to her “friends”. She doesnt even write to me frist. I need to do it. After it we have always a good conversation.