In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “All or Nothing?.”
I am this kind of person. I started almost everthing. I have no time for myself. I am learning all the time. While writing this post i am learning. What i am learning? English and writing skills. My life is based on the quote “The Only Person You Should Try To Be Better Than Is The Person You Were Yesterday”.
All started in the year 2009. I picked up my guitar. Later i started to draw. I learned a little programming. Switched back to graphic. All my life i played Video Games. Recently i don’t play so much. I started to learn to create games. I am at the beginning of my Journey. There is a lot stuff to learn.
Now i am thinking about learning 3D modelling.
I know it’s the bad way to choose in life. But i am having so much fun!
And guess what. All is not Nothing. It’s always something.
And it’s not about all the homework. I hate it. Really. It’s not about all the time i need to get back and forth. I takes a lot of hours. And the waiting for the train and so on…
It’s more about the THING. You can sit in your class or lecture hall and learn or… you can let your imagination work. I think mostly about what i am going to do at home. I learn to… but most of the time these lectures are boring.
I create new Worlds in my brain. It started little. I thought about little elephants running there and there. Later funny things started to happend. I just sat there and made the world around me live their own lives.
Now i don’t do it anymore. I don’t have to. I can make it in my imagination. Why only use the world around us?
Well… you can’t listen to music. Because the teacher will see it. You can use your notebook, but i try not to use my computer so much lately. The desktop screen makes me kinda tired.
Before i draw a little and made a little poems in my notebook! But… i prefer do it at home 🙂
I have no excuses.
Maybe a little.
I wasn’t sure if blogging in English language is the good way. I wasn’t really minded for the way of writing. The thing is if i start writing in english i can resonate with more people. I can learn the language. I can try to be better everyday. It’s hard. I know. But why not take a shot?
I wasnt really active in internet community. I was more of a lurking person. Why not change it?
I had the courage to write in my native language… but writing in a different one? Foreign?
In the past year a lot of changes happened.
I am a different person. I learned new skills. These need still to be mastered. But the thing is… i forgot to follow my dreams. I tried to follow dreams of my parents. And i wasn’t really happy with it. It was good… but it wasn’t the way i wanted.
Here i start. Again.
The inspiration to start again was this post on reddit: http://www.reddit.com/comments/2livoo/
I go back from the ashes like a phoenix.
I learned new skills. So i don’t use photos from the internet. I can create my own art 🙂
I know it isn’t great… but i try to master it. To be in this better every day.
I am totally not this kind of person.
I don’t like to fight. You got a problem? Let’s face it and find a solution. Mostly i have conflict with my parents. Who doesn’t have them? Sometimes the fight is about stupid things. Why did you took money from my pocket? Why didn’t you asked me? Is there a problem with it? And let’s be honest. I wasn’t the one who took the money.
There have been many diffrent situations. Mostly in my teenager life. Why do you come so late? Why didint you make your bed? Well, i was a good kid. But even in the best families there are conflicts.
We are having fight with our friends too. Why? Because we care. That’s the main problem.
Short post, because i have short fights.
I am totally a night owl. I love sleeping. But i do it mostly on daylight. My neighbours sometimes ask me: “I saw a light in your window at 5 in the morning. Did you forget to turn it off?”. Mostly i say “yes”. But it’s a lie. I love night. Because of the atmosphere. Lighting bulb in the corner and me inside books, drawing, writing, lurking the internet.
When i was 12 years old i had a problem. It was 3 am, pretty hot outside and i couln’t sleep. I was twisting in my bed since midnight. It was like a nightmare. But i wasn’t really sleeping. Somehow at 5 am they started to put cartoons again and i falled asleep.
I had those problems all the time. It was mostly when i had vacation, no school, no job. I wasnt exhausted. When your body has power, you can’t sleep. I could do everything. Paint my room at 4 am, change the furniture position, clean my house.
I sleep a lot. 8 hours is minimum. Sometimes i hit 10. But when the school starts… 5 hours. Because i need to get up early and get to the train.
Night is boring. Really. Everybody sleeps. You feel like you are the only one living in the world. If you go outside you see nobody.
Funny thing: The lighting from my room is the only light on the streets. I think my nighbours got used to it. But there are cons too. I got tommorow a dentist visit at 9 am. I don’t know how i get up so early. I guess it’s gonna be a nightmare.
But in the end, all we are, is just dust in the wind…
Those aren’t the exactly word lyrics, but it is so. In the end we are just dust in the wind, and we are only remembered by our friends throught situations in our lives.
But Hey! We are alive! Let’s do things! I am Young. Forever Young. This Way sang Marian Gold from Alphaville.
I feel young! But i don’t have much time… Because the time is running fast. What are my goals?
I know. We don’t like to share with our thoughts. The deepest dreams are closed in our hearts. We don’t like to share with them. I have one big dream, and plenty of others with which i one to share with you!
I want to be an artist. I can’t force myself to draw more. Just can’t. I feel like i have no progression in it. I try to draw everyday, but i get bored pretty fast.
I want to make movies. And i keep doing them! At the moment i am using my phone… it’s not much but it’s a good start.
I want to make computer games! I can’t really programm. I don’t know any programming language. Well except little C++, Java, C#. (Hey! Book! Programming for dummies! I am looking on you!).
I want to write poems!
I want to write books!
I want to help people!
I want to be a journalist!
So much to do, so little time! Let’s start now! Because everyday we are better people.
I like perfection. But it’s kinda hard to write in diffrent language. You are not sure if you make mistakes or not. I try to read a lot of articles in English. I like this language because of the globality. Everyone know it. Well… almost. But it’s pretty popular. Isn’t it?
It opens a lot of more doors. You can write to much more people. Nobody is perfect, but i try to be Perfect Everyday.
How many people can see my post? How can i reach to all the people? Do i need to be shiny? Like a star? Why i want to reach with my words to them?
Well. History shows that everyone wanted to have their 5 minutes. Wanted to be the one who got their words on the first page. Now we have the possiblity. We can write and share with everyone our feelings, our mood and what else. We are the new generation of people, who are all the time conected into a global village. We are bound with invisible rope, and we can’t escape.
So i start again. I want to write better everyday. And i hope that one day… i will be happy with it. Now i am just learning.
That’s my only excuse.
I´m a complicated person. I make a lot of choices. What bread should i take today? Normal or Onion Bread? Or maybe rolls? At the end i make cereal with milk… Yes. We make as people a lot of choices. It´s almost like an algorythm. If we choose one way there is no way back. We can`t save or load the game. We just live and go on. But the “eating problem” is not the only problem with which people fight everyday. There are biggers problems. Like… should i marry this Woman? That´s a hard decission mate. I think you should think. We have brains. It´s good to train our brains. Play some chees for example. In this game you need to be 4-5 moves before your opponent. If you make a single mistake… you lose. Well life is harder. Life is Life. Take your choices, risk, play fair, hope, love and give your best.
What were my life choices? The hard one?
I moved to Germany. It´s like a big step. I needed to learn a new language. Had to leave my family, my friends. Start a new Life. With new opportunities. I choose a new way in my life. I am going this way. Making little steps and going forward.
I made a bad moves to. Like runining away from school and being a very bad person to my teacher. Well it was in Groundschool. I was a bad Kid… really. But kids, are just kids. Right? I went into multpile fights in Gymnasium. And there was a bigger one too. The last one. I went into a Pogo Dance and broke my leg. I went to another Pogo dance ( one year after it) and broke my Phone.
That were the bad moves. But i made a little moves too. I spoke to a lot of grils. I found my courage and just did it. Sometimes it went bad… but the other one went good and i made new friends 🙂 One of the girls i met was my Girl for the Prom Ball.
So… Just do it! Take your chances. Make your moves. Live!
I am a Duck.
I am from Germany
Ich schreibe auf Deutsch und Englisch
Well i write more in Englisch. I am a duck. Understand me. I don´t write well. Im just a silly goose. Well my aunt is a goose. Im a Duck. Lets Face it. Every time i look in a mirror I see a duck.
The life as a Duck is hard, you know. You like in the mirror and see duck. Well i have a mirror for free when i look inside the Lake. Well the technology went forward and is a lot better now. A lot of people lose their phones in See and i use them. Last time i found a laptop in a lake so i started to write this blog. Im a duck. Just saying. Qua Qua